Parenting Styles: Finding What Works for You

Parenting is the lifelong role of caring for and guiding children as they grow and develop. It involves offering children unconditional love, support, and direction, so they may overcome obstacles in life, acquire necessary skills, and grow into well-rounded adults. Parenting that is supportive to children’s emotional, cognitive, and social growth shapes their values, behaviors, and perspective.

family walking on path

Photo by Vidal Balielo Jr.

“The consistent method that parents use to raise and communicate with their children is referred to as their parenting style. It includes how parents strike a balance between kindness, rules, dialogue, and expectations,” says Bidisha Sarkar, a pediatrician at ClinicSpots. Various parenting style, including authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful, reflect various mixes of these elements. Each style has an impact on how kids view themselves, interact with others, and develop their skills. 

Parenting styles

Finding the right parenting style involves considering your values, your child’s needs, and your family dynamics to create a supportive and nurturing environment for their growth and well-being.

“The parenting styles cover a range of actions, attitudes, and beliefs that influence how parents connect with their kids, establish boundaries, provide instructions, and communicate,” explains Bidisha. The emotional health, behavior, and relationships of a kid can all be significantly impacted by the parenting methods used.

There are a number of recognized parenting approaches, and each is distinguished by a certain combination of elements including warmth, strictness, openness, and expectations. The primary parenting philosophies are:

Authoritative parenting



This style combines high levels of warmth and responsiveness with appropriate levels of control. Parents who are authoritative provide clear guidelines and expectations while encouraging their children’s freedom and uniqueness. They promote open communication and give justifications for their choices, which builds a spirit of respect for one another. Children who have experienced authoritarian parenting typically grow up to be independent, socially adept, and emotionally stable.


Authoritarian parenting


Authoritarian parents place a high value on control and tight regulations, sometimes with little love and response. They value obedience and discipline, with little room for negotiation. Although this parenting style can produce well-behaved kids, it can also produce kids who have trouble making decisions, poor self-esteem, and a fear of authoritative people. 

It’s important to understand that, while structure and discipline are necessary for a child’s healthy growth, maintaining a balance between establishing limits and promoting open communication is equally important. Finding this balance can assist children in becoming more self-assured, independent, and capable of making thoughtful judgements.


Permissive parenting


Parents who are permissive are indulgent and tolerant, valuing warmth and responsiveness above strict boundaries and regulations. Although this strategy may create positive ties between parents and children, kids could have trouble with self-control, taking responsibility, and appreciating boundaries. Permissive parenting can help parents and kids enjoy a close, honest connection, but it can also have potential negative effects. Children brought up in such a setting may have trouble developing self-control, taking responsibility, and comprehending the idea of limits. They could find it difficult to manage norms and expectations in other aspects of their lives, including school or social relationships, without clear instructions.


Neglectful parenting


Neglectful parents are characterized by low levels of both warmth and control. Children may feel abandoned and neglected because of their emotional distance or busyness. Children who are raised in this manner may have a number of detrimental effects, such as emotional and behavioral problems. 

It’s important to realise that most parents don’t choose to be negligent of their children on purpose. “This parenting approach may be influenced by things like personal difficulties, mental health problems, stress, or other conditions, says Bidisha. Parents may assist their children receive the care and attention they require for healthy growth by acknowledging the potential harm it might cause and seeking support, such as counselling or parenting resources.

How to find what works for you?

Every parent has an own style that is influenced by their upbringing, cultural background, religious convictions, and the characteristics of their kid. Find the parenting approach that works best for your family by following these steps:

  • Reflect on your values: Think about your parenting principles, ideas, and objectives. What values do you hope to impart to your children? What sort of connection do you hope to have with them? Your parenting decisions might be influenced by knowing your values.
  • Observe your child: every child is different, with their own demands and personalities. Be mindful of your child’s personality, assets, and weaknesses. A strategy that is effective for one child might not be appropriate for another.
  • Combine styles: You don’t have to adhere to a single parenting approach. By combining parts from many parenting philosophies, many parents achieve success. You may, for instance, embrace the warmth and openness of authoritative parenting while still establishing firm limits in the manner of an authoritarian parent.
  • Adapt as necessary: Being a parent is a lifelong effort. Be willing to modify your strategy as your child develops and the situation evolves. Being flexible and adaptable are essential for effective parenting.
  • Balance: Seek to find a balance between restraint and friendliness. You can nurture independence, keep lines of communication open, and set fair expectations to help your child grow in a positive atmosphere.
  • Prioritise connection: No matter the learning method, it’s essential to develop a deep emotional bond with your child. Spend time together, listen carefully, and exhibit real interest in what they have to say.


Being a parent is a dynamic adventure that calls for tolerance, adaptation, and a desire to develop. Instead of rigidly following to one parenting approach, take into account the particular requirements of your child and family. 

A combination of caring, establishing boundaries, honest communication, and paying attention to your child’s uniqueness can help you figure out what works for you. You should keep in mind that there is no perfect formula and that as long as your actions are based on love and your child’s best interests, you are on the right track.

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