Are you getting divorced? If so, child custody and support issues are probably weighing heavily on your mind. Custody and support are by far the biggest sources of stress and conflict in divorce. Why?… Because almost no one knows how they work. Don’t worry, though, it doesn’t have to be that way.
Photo by Serge Degtyarev
In this guide, we’ll teach you everything you need to know about custody and support. You’ll learn how it works and how to protect yourself.
You’ll learn:
- How child custody works
- How to calculate child support
- Mistakes to avoid when paying or receiving support
- Working with lawyers
How child custody works
Okay, so first things first. When we say child custody, what exactly do we mean? Essentially, custody dictates where your kids live and who will make decisions about their upbringing. Once parents decide to part ways, the court will act in the best interests of the children. Period. Everything else is secondary. That means having a reputable family lawyer on your side who has experience with family law services and divorce cases is imperative to ensuring the proper custody is granted.
Before we go any further, here are a few things you should know:
Child custody includes who has decision-making responsibilities when it comes to:
- Education
- Medical
- Religion
- Extra-curricular activities
These are just a few of the factors courts take into consideration when determining who gets custody. Other factors include, but are not limited to:
- each parent’s ability to care for the child
- the child’s relationship with each parent
- the child’s own wishes (depending on age)
Another thing to keep in mind…
Statistics show that 80% of children under the age of 12 were in their mothers’ custody with existing court orders. However, this does not mean mothers are entitled to full custody.
Parents are now more often than not agreeing to share custody of their children. Shared custody allows both parents to play an active role in their children’s lives.
If you and your spouse are unable to agree on who will get custody, the court will make this decision for you.
How to calculate child support
Curious how they calculate child support?
It’s actually quite simple. Each province in Canada follows the Federal Child Support Guidelines when determining how much child support should be paid.
These guidelines aren’t recommendations; they are rules that everyone must abide by.
The amount of child support paid is based on several factors, including but not limited to:
- The gross annual income of the payor parent
- Number of children that require support
- Province in which the payor parent resides
- The custody arrangement that is in place
Keep in mind…
The courts utilize payor income tables, which specify how much support should be paid according to annual income.
For example, if a parent makes $50,000 per year and has one child, they can reference the table and see exactly how much should be paid that month.
If you and your spouse agree to a shared custody arrangement, the calculations can become more complicated.
In cases where both parents have the children at least 40% of the time, a set-off calculation will be used.
Essentially, the court will calculate what each parent would owe if the other were not involved. Then, they will subtract the lower number from the higher number.
Meaning…
Even if you and your spouse decide to share custody 50/50, you may still be required to pay support if there is a large discrepancy in incomes.
Mistakes to avoid when paying or receiving support
Let me share with you something that most parents learn the hard way…
There are certain mistakes you can make that can cost you thousands in fees and cause unnecessary stress. Avoid these four traps, and you’ll save yourself headaches later:
Attempting to negotiate support below the guidelines
Sometimes parents believe that by coming “under” guidelines, they are somehow being “fair” or “flexible.”
WRONG!
The court will seldom approve any agreement where child support is below the guideline calculations. If a Judge feels like the child support in your settlement agreement does not meet guideline amounts, they will toss it out, period.
Believing that equal custody equals no support
Ah, yes, one of the biggest misconceptions out there.
Just because you have equal parenting time with your children does not mean child support doesn’t come into play. If one parent makes significantly more than the other, that parent will most likely pay support.
Thinking support ends when your child turns 18
Just because your child turns 18 doesn’t mean support ends automatically. If your child attends university or is physically unable to support themselves, support may continue until the age of 23 or 25.
I’ve even seen support payments continue until age 25 for university students.
Failure to document payments/expenses
Document. Everything.
If a payment is made, write it down. If your child has an expense, gather the proof. Any time there is a disagreement about money, it turns into his word against yours.
Saves you time and money in the long run.
Working with lawyers
Here’s a little secret most people don’t tell you about getting divorced…
Your decisions during this process will impact you and your children for the rest of your lives.
Because of this, hiring a professional to guide you isn’t recommended; it’s REQUIRED.
A family lawyer can:
- Explain your rights and what you are obligated to do by law
- Help you avoid making expensive mistakes
- Fight for you and your children should you need to go to court
- Negotiate on your behalf
Don’t wait until things get ugly.
The sooner you consult with a lawyer, the more options you will have. Waiting too long leaves you at a disadvantage right off the bat.
I know what you are thinking. Lawyers are expensive.
Yes and no.
Custody agreements have been reported to cost an average of $2236 in legal fees. But if you wait too long trying to “save money”, you could end up paying tens of thousands in court fees fighting a battle you should have settled.
When searching for a lawyer, look for someone who:
- Specializes in family law
- Practices law in your province
- Has experience with cases similar to yours
- Is willing to clearly communicate and keep you updated
- Has clear pricing
A lot of lawyers offer free consultations, so take advantage. Meet with a few different lawyers and see who you feel most comfortable with.
Tips to make the process easier
There is no doubt that divorce is difficult, especially when you have children involved.
But just because your marriage is ending doesn’t mean you have to make it more difficult than it needs to be.
Children benefit when their parents maintain a civil relationship after separating.
If you do things the right way, your children may not even realize divorce is happening.
The following are guidelines I recommend you live by when navigating custody and support. Print this out and hang it over your desk as a reminder.
Maintain civility at all times.
Your kids deserve to see their parents working together, even if it’s just for them. The better you and your ex can get along, the easier this process will be.
Be flexible.
Pick your battles. If your ex wants to take the kids and do something that will cost you less child support. Let them go. It’s not worth the fight.
Put everything in writing.
Verbal agreements are never going to hold up if disputes arise. Send confirmations for every payment you make and receive.
Think long term, not who “wins”.
Conclusion
Figuring out child custody and child support does not have to make you broke or hate your ex forever. Armed with the information above, you now know how custody works, how support is calculated, and how to avoid costly mistakes.
Just remember, you don’t have to go through this process alone. There are family law experts all over Canada who want to help you and your family.
Don’t let your lack of knowledge or misconceptions tear your family apart.
Take control of your situation and your future by learning everything you can on the subject.
Do it for you, and do it for your kids.