How To Go Through a Divorce Gracefully: A Step-by-step Guide

Divorces can be stressful; nobody enters a marriage wanting one. Unfortunately, over time some couples grow apart. When a relationship is failing, divorce can be a way out. Because divorces pit former best friends and lovers against each other, arguments, petty disputes, and arbitrary conflicts are unavoidable. A graceful divorce is not an easy thing to achieve. However, just because something is difficult to do, that’s not to say it’s not possible.

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This post will explore this topic in more detail, telling you everything you need to know about achieving a graceful divorce.

Making the decision

The first step in a divorce is to decide whether it’s a good idea to get one. Many couples think their only option is divorce, but that’s not true. If things aren’t working, you could consider getting in touch with a therapist or marriage counselor. Sometimes talking through your issues in the company of an expert can help you to identify areas of concern and things that need improvement. Trying these things before filing for divorce can save you a lot of hassle and strengthen your relationship. It’s especially important to talk about your problems (or at least attempt to recover your marriage) if you have children. Divorce can destroy children’s lives.

Finding legal representation

Legal representation is essential if you are planning on separating from your spouse. Under no circumstances should you attempt to navigate a divorce without one. Finding divorce lawyers has never been easier, thanks to the internet. If you have a computer and a Wi-Fi connection, you can find one with relative ease. You do need to make sure that you find lawyers with good reviews and solid reputations, though. Reviews show you what a law firm is going to be like to work with. Additionally, try to find a lawyer with affordable rates. Divorces can be expensive. If you don’t find a lawyer whose services are within your budget, you could end up spending much more than you can afford. Consider asking your chosen lawyer to let you pay in installments if you can’t afford their help outright.

Decice conditions

If you have been with your spouse for a while, the chances are you have a lot of shared assets. You need to think about the conditions. Are there any special requests you have for your partner to make the divorce smoother for you? Make sure that when you are coming up with conditions you are reasonable. Don’t impose arbitrary restrictions on your partner or try to block them from getting things just because you are angry at them. Divorces can be stressful, but the more intense they are, the more likely they are to permanently damage your relationship with your spouse. At the time of your divorce, you might hate your partner. However, if your divorce goes smoothly, you could end up being friends again in the future. Throwing away a marriage and relationship with somebody you used to love because of anger is something you will come to regret.

Work out the logistics

Spend some time thinking about the logistics of your divorce. Who’s going to stay in your marital home and who’s going to look after the children? An attorney can help you to think through the logistics of your divorce since they can be confusing. Attorneys are experienced in helping people get through marital breakups, so they are the best people to turn to for support. One of the best things about divorce attorneys is that they can contest any unfavorable or unfair requests. There’s no guarantee your former spouse is going to make requests of this kind, but it’s always good to know that if they do, your attorney can defend you.

Contest unfavorable requests

As mentioned in the previous section, divorce lawyers can contest unfavorable and unfair requests. If your spouse does start asking for things that don’t make sense just to spite you, don’t stoop down to their level. Your lawyer can contest their requests in court and ensure you aren’t taken advantage of. However, if you drop to their level and start behaving immaturely, you are going to look bad in court. If you are asking for custody of your children or specific assets, looking bad in court can ruin your chances. Do everything your lawyer tells you to do and try to be polite and friendly throughout your hearings, never resorting to emotional outbursts or petty behavior.

Try to negotiate

Negotiation is key. You likely know your spouse better than anyone else. Because of this, you are in a good position to negotiate with them. Negotiating with your spouse rather than fighting them can be a good way to bring your relationship to an amicable close. Make sure that you don’t impose petty and arbitrary restrictions on them and try not to fight them for things you don’t want or need (or things that you know are meaningful to them, i.e., a record collection or a specific item of furniture, or even a pet). Negotiating with your spouse will save you a lot of money as well since the amount of time that’s spent in court will be significantly reduced. The less time you spend in court, the lower your legal fees will be.

Think about children

If you have children, think about them. Divorces can be hard on young people, which is why it’s important to try and make them as smooth and painless as you can. First and foremost, tell your children why you are getting divorced. Keeping them in the loop can reduce their chances of getting overly emotional. That said, if your children are very young, it’s better not to get too detailed. Make sure that when you are explaining your divorce to your children you do it in a comfortable, familiar place. Discuss the subject sensitively and try not to do it on a day when they are emotional.

If you want to get divorced, you need to ensure that yours is graceful. Divorces can get very petty. Try to avoid pettiness or arbitrary disputes. Ensure you have a qualified lawyer representing you, also. The more qualified your lawyer is, the better their services are going to be.

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