5 mistakes moms make when their kids ignore them.
Photo by Karolina Grabowska
As the kids grow, even the sweetest kid can turn to ice. But in the case of grown children who ignore their parents, there’s much to discuss and talk about.
As the kids grow, they keep changing. Sooner than later you will be surprised by the change in behavior of the kid. This might be infuriating and the way a parent reacts to the situation will matter. It can either make it worse or better. Grown children who ignore their parents can lead to the mom blaring or even scolding the child. It is therefore good to avoid these mistakes that are very common as you try the alternative to have a breakthrough silence. Below is an outline of 5 mistakes moms make when their kids ignore them.
Sometimes as a mom, you may feel entitled to command your children. You may issue orders such as “Go to bed, Now”. This becomes dangerous and brews a rebellion from the kid. Kids do not appreciate being dictated to. As a parent, you should engage in a Socratic conversation with the children for better results. You can use a simpler tone like: “We had agreed that you go to bed and switched off the lights by 9:00 PM. Can you please stick to our promise?”
Disciplining while angry
Some things do not augur well with each other. For instance, driving while drunk is unacceptable. Similarly writing a heated email to someone that has angered you before cooling down can be disastrous. Therefore, the same applies to any mother. It is wrong to discipline your child when you are angry. This is because when you are angry you are likely to shout or say something that you did not intend to say. Take some time to cool down and collect your thoughts before talking to your kid about their bad behavior.
Explaining too much
Lecturing or giving a lengthy explanation regarding your kids’ behavior is not a good idea. Grown-up kids or even those in grade school can easily lose track of discussions that have too much in detail. This is because they are in the process of getting better at paying attention. It is as important to be direct as possible as you break it down to your kid. Even for older kids, as a mother, talk about what went wrong. Discuss possible scenarios that would have yielded better results and choices. For smaller kids, you can simply state what behavior was and why it was wrong.
Not practicing what you teach
Sometimes as a mom, you may not see your behavior. This can play a major role in your kid ignoring you. The kid looks up to you and is always watching your every move as they learn how to behave using you as an example. You may tell your kid to avoid lies but you frequently lie so that you avoid things that you do not want to do. These can be avoiding school volunteer committees or attending meetings at work. You forget about these yet you go ahead to reprimand your kid when they tell the same lies. As a mom, you should be a good example with good behavior that your kids can emulate.
Thinking that disciplining is punishing
As a mom, you should understand that the point of disciplining your kid is to give them firm guidelines and limits. It involves setting boundaries and clear expectations so that the kids know what is required of them. This will help them avoid punishments. Therefore, when you are disciplining your kid, you are showing them how to make good choices.