Common emotions experienced with infertility and ways to get through it.
When a couple tries for a baby, it’s supposed to be a fun and exciting time for them but if a couple is having infertility issues, their fun and exciting time can quickly turn into a rollercoaster of emotions and heartache. Struggling with infertility can make it difficult to take on even the simplest of tasks without something being a constant reminder of wanting a baby and not being able to conceive.
Infertility is not an easy situation to be in or cope with. According to womenhealth.org.au, one out of six couples experience infertility issues, so can you just imagine how many people are putting on that brave face when facing the world? It’s a lot of people. If you and your partner have been together for a while and have not conceived, it’s common for friends and family to make mention that your “clock is ticking” or even try to give tips on different methods to get pregnant… typically, their intentions are good but don’t come across that way. On top of unwanted advice, you’re having feelings of inadequacy and failure because you’re still not pregnant.
Infertility can bring about many different emotions and feelings but one of the best ways to get through the emotions and feelings associated with infertility is to fully acknowledge how you’re feeling and to look into different methods of coping with your emotions. It may be hard to do at first but by doing this, you’ll be able to implement coping strategies to help you overcome the negative feelings you’re having.
The impact of infertility: identifying your feelings and emotions
At a very young age, girls are encouraged to get married and have children while they’re young because once they hit a certain age, they’ll be “too old” to have them. So once you are of age and status to have children, hitting a roadblock like this can be devastating. Taking on this type of emotional stress can make it hard for you to determine which feelings and emotions were put on you and which ones you’ve put on yourself. This is why it’s very important to identify your feelings and emotions.
Some of the most common feelings and emotions that are associated with infertility include:
- Failure and inadequacy
- Shame
- Jealousy
- Anger (why me?)
- Depression from being childless
Once you’ve been able to successfully identify the feelings and emotions you’re feeling, you will then need to get to the root of those feelings. Ask yourself what your feelings are about, where they’re coming from, and who they’re directed towards. It’s common for a woman experiencing infertility issues to have feelings of guilt but the real question to ask is what do you feel guilty about and who is your guilt directed towards?
By asking yourself these probing questions, you may begin to better understand yourself and why you have these feelings and be able to speak to a specialist who can help you with your feelings. They will talk to you and provide you with some coping mechanisms to help you get through your difficult time.
Coping mechanisms
Limit your time on social media
Cutting back on social media can be a hard thing to do for some people because it’s a major part of their entertainment life. When struggling with infertility issues, social media can be one of the worst hobbies to have. You’ll find yourself scrolling and see your friends and family going on with their lives, while you sit there feeling jealousy and resentment towards them for being able to have children. Just keep in mind while you’re scrolling that people tend to only post happy and positive things… they typically don’t share the painful stuff so it’s not fair to yourself to compare your life with theirs.
Allow yourself to grieve
There is absolutely nothing wrong with needing time to grieve and cry over not being able to have a child. As mentioned earlier, it’s a tough situation to be in but sometimes to get through the tough situations, you just have to cry it out. If you feel sad, feel sad, just try to keep tabs on how often you’re feeling sad. If you’re feeling sad too often, you might want to get in touch with a counselor to additional help.
Write down how you feel
Keeping a journal to write in can really help you get out the feelings you’re truly feeling. Not only that, but it also allows you to take all of your thoughts and put them in a place where you can get out of your own head. On the flip side, it can also be that place you go to, to reflect on the journey you’ve been on once you do become a parent.
Looking on the bright side
One of the great aspects of infertility issues (if there really is one) is the fact that it doesn’t necessarily mean that you will never be able to have children. There are so many alternatives to becoming a parent that people don’t even realize. IVF is the most popular treatment with the five-step process.
If you are seriously considering this type of treatment, make sure to do your research and consult with a fertility specialist first because the first step in getting this journey started is understanding the process.