How to survive the newborn phase with your spouse?
During pregnancy, we prepare ourselves for a stage where we know we will have sleepless nights. Then the reality hits us hard after childbirth. The newborn phase is equally difficult for both the mother and the father. It becomes chaotic, waking up in the middle of the nights, changing diapers, putting them to sleep, and so on. Furthermore, it leads to annoyance towards your spouse for maybe not giving enough attention or both not having enough time to spend with each other. The only solution to this is to understand how to survive this newborn phase together with equal efforts from both ends. Here are a few pointers to help you and your spouse together survive this phase.
Make it a valuable learning experience
It is an experience of a lifetime. It is a stage full of learning and exploring about oneself, about your spouse or about any relationships. Realizing the value of life and celebrating it should be the right way, without allowing the phase to weigh you down. Any new mom needs to understand that this is a great learning opportunity, a challenge to push your limits, to know your boundaries of sacrifices and feel the unconditional love for your child. Have open conversations with your spouse and bring more maturity to your marriage and bond.
Focus on your health
Your health is also a priority. Both of you need to focus on maintaining a healthy lifestyle which simultaneously will affect your baby’s health too. Exercise regularly, go for a walk together with your spouse and take along your baby for a stroll. If you are a lot into fitness or athletics, continue with that passion equally even during the newborn phase while you are breastfeeding. Post pregnancy often accompanies with certain ailments like iron-deficiency or anemia due to blood loss which is not negligible. Doctors may prescribe anabolic steroids which are helpful for treating anemia and other inflammations. If you cannot go out, you can always order steroids online from an authorized store. Do consult your physician before ordering, to know what might suit you best and if it’s safe to have steroids while breastfeeding.
Do not compare with others
Parenting is difficult and comparisons can make it even harder to survive. Your experiences may be different as every child is unique, so are their nurturing requirements. Do not compare or adopt every other strategy you read or hear. Observe your child and talk to your spouse how to manage the daily routine without stressing out. Take a nap yourself while your baby sleeps. A half an hour nap can also help you regain energy. Do some research and find out ways to handle the stress. Make use of those which may be applicable in your case.
Manage your finances
Planning your finances is crucial. You don’t want to end up being broke due to your child care expenses. Talk to your parents, ask for help if required. Avoid spending luxuriously on your baby. Digging a hole in your pocket on pricy baby items is illogical. There are healthcare expenses as well even for the nurturing mother. You will further need enough savings for their education as well. Talk to your spouse and decide on purchasing things which you really need.
Find out hobbies you both can engage with
We all have hobbies which we may ignore due to the circumstances of our busy schedule. As a stress reliever, you can always give a chance to those hobbies again. It can be stitching, singing, cooking, baking, reading new novels, gardening, etc. You both can help each other discover new ones and engage in it whenever you get free time. Buy a delicious piece of dark chocolate for your spouse and pamper by showering her with gifts. ‘One chocolate a day will keep the bad mood away’.
Try to balance out your priorities
Yes, your newborn is your priority right now. But your entire world shouldn’t center around baby care. That would detach you from yourself and create distance within your other relations. Try to balance this out by paying attention to other needs or other happenings of life, of your surroundings. Also, the baby needs to learn certain things by themselves through observations. Give them that space and opportunity to grow independently at times. Keeping a close eye every single second is essential. But revolving your entire world around them is not a healthy way of development for you, your child and even your spouse.
Don’t give up on entertainment
Make your lives entertaining every day, by engaging in a movie date with your spouse or a beautiful romantic dinner. These activities can be easily done at home if you cannot go out. You simply need a collection of good movies and ready to eat food like the quinoa Tesco, which simply need some heating in a microwave and served right away. The magic is in making most out of even a very less amount of time you may get during this phase. Instead of whining and ruining moments, think of ideas to make these moments special every single day.
Be honest and be present
Be honest to admit you are facing some difficulties. Get some help from your parents or friends who can drop by to babysit while you both go out for some grocery shopping or finish some urgent work. For a partner, be present physically and emotionally. Listen to your spouse, understand each other’s demands, realize faults, work on it and support each other throughout the newborn phase. If your partner dozes off while you are sharing your experiences, do not get angry. You can do that the next day as well. Communications is the key to the survival of every relation.
Create some everlasting memories of this stage of life. You may not be the same person you were and that change is for the better. Enjoy the fact that you have an adorable gift of God. A creation you will cherish forever!