Life after divorce for women: what to prepare for.
After divorce, it is still possible to find true happiness. Regardless of why your marriage ended, you can come out better and do well in future relationships. But this will only happen if you know what to do immediately after your divorce. Here are some of the things you need to prepare for shortly after you part ways with your spouse
Put your finances in order
You will need to improve your financial status whether you are a stay-at-home mum or you are earning your own income. If you are staying at home, you will need to start an active career. Review your education, training and passion and start with something you can manage with the raising of your kids. You may choose to work online from home or find work that is not too far away from home.
If you were already working, ensure that your divorce does not take its toll on your performance at work. Try to separate your divorce pains from your work and finances so you can recover faster and go on to succeed financially.
Avoid transferring hatred to your kids
Allow your kids to develop a healthy relationship with their dad. Don’t call him names, play the blame game or make them hate him. Recall that your adorable kids are on earth because of the relationship you had with your ex. Work on your emotions so that resentment will not hinder the proper upbringing of your kids. Your kids will learn tolerance, patience and how to accommodate the flaws of others if you manage this situation well. If your ex is violent or gets angry easily, hold conversations with him in private.
Get set to answer your family members’ questions
When next you sit with your maternal family members, you may be bombarded with different questions. Some of your family members may just want to gossip about your ex. They may say things like: “I was never comfortable with that guy”. You can let them know that you are still adjusting to your divorce and you need time to sort things out. If you feel the time is right though, you can share your feelings with your family members. When it is done right, sharing your feelings can have a soothing effect.
Prepare to deal with loneliness
Dating can help with loneliness but you will not be ready to get into another relationship immediately. So you need to be ready to overcome loneliness. If you have your kids with you, spend quality time with them daily. When you are alone in bed at night, just remember that you had done your best to redeem your relationship and getting a divorce was the best outcome for a better future. Accept that your time of aloneness is temporary.
Don’t keep your home if you can’t afford it
If your present income cannot pay for the monthly mortgage payments, you will need to agree on how to sell it. Your home is that special place where you may want to keep raising your kids, but it’s also a viable asset. Set emotions aside and look at the hard facts when you want to decide on how to manage your house post- divorce. Don’t make the common mistake of trying to keep your home if you can’t afford it.
When you choose to put up your home for sale, make sure it is appraised immediately so the two of you can agree about the selling price. If you are planning to buy the house, you may need to do a separate appraisal. But in most cases, it is better to sell the home, share the proceeds and move on to rent a smaller apartment or buy a smaller home.
Ask for help to calculate your required income
Whether you are earning your own income when you get divorced, or you earn more than your spouse, or you are not working, ask for a detailed evaluation of what you will need to get as monthly income. Work with your lawyer and accountant to calculate the income you will need from now on. This will enable you to complete the legal procedures to request for the spousal support that is due to you.
Life after divorce does not have to be gloomy and lonely. Get prepared for the highs and lows and you will ultimately start to feel better and eventually find love again.