Has social media wrecked your confidence?
As a new mum, you’ll be faced with all sorts of things to choose between and decide upon, but that’s just the way it has always been. Social media used to be something you could dip in and out of all day whenever you had an idle 10 minutes, but now your little one requires your attention night and day. You still check your feeds though, and that’s fine, but are they doing more harm than good?
Instagram is the home of unrealistic expectations
There’s nothing worse than having low self-esteem or feeling a bit blue, and then ending up on Instagram. Being a mum is tiring work, especially in those first few months of sleepless nights and seemingly never-ending rounds of baths, nappies, and feeds. But that’s part of the beauty of it all, and you’ll be full of joy as you see your little one transform before your very eyes.
If you have a spare 5 minutes of peace, you’ll naturally pick up your phone and see what’s going on. Instagram grabs your attention and you check out some of the stunning figures of celebrities who’ve just had children. Then you look in the mirror and feel worse than before. Life doesn’t have to be like that, however; you just need to remember a couple of really important things.
Firstly, the people posting are only letting you see what they want you to see. It’s just not an accurate representation of real life most of the time. The other point is, you can change the way you look, given time, but you should only do it for you. Don’t do it to try and emulate unattainable images online.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, just be yourself
Every mum is hard on themselves, but that doesn’t mean it’s a healthy thing to spend your time doing. If you judge yourself against other people, then of course you can always find things you don’t like. The problem is that we’re programmed to focus on areas where we perceive other people as doing better than us, and to ignore the many areas where we seem to be doing better than them.
No one’s life is perfect, and no one makes perfect choices for their entire life. So don’t base your judgement of one person’s entire life on a single image on social media. You focus on being you, and you’ll be amazed at how quickly your confidence returns as you grow into your new role as the mum of the family.
Being a mum is the greatest thing you can do, so be proud of it
There’s nothing better than being a mum, so make sure you tell yourself this every single time you feel down or blue. It doesn’t mean you should be hard on yourself because you have nothing to feel down about. It means that you should be proud of what you’re doing, and embrace the fact that it’s not always going to be as easy and effortless as social media would have you believe.
There’s nothing wrong with talking to a friend and saying you find some aspects of being a mum difficult. And there’s nothing wrong with aspiring to get back into your pre-bump shape once your body has had enough time to heal and recover from labour. But take your time, be proud of who you are, and enjoy being a mum. If you are feeling too much like you are living in a whole new body (as most new mums do), try to find a cosmetic clinic you can trust (this is the one I personally can recommend), and look into the option they offer to getting you back into shape. Once there, you might realize you don’t need a specific procedure at all.
Don’t judge yourself by what other people choose to show you
Most of the posts on social media are designed to garner likes or market something to you. You might have fun reading them, and that’s great, but don’t base your perception of your own worth and success on them. Life’s just too short for all of that.
Remember that the poster is only showing you a snapshot of their life, and that a lot of the time they will have put in considerable effort to show their best side. That’s what social media is about for so many people, but that doesn’t mean you need to use it as a measuring stick by which to judge yourself.
Take pride in what makes you who you are, your’re unique!
You’re unique, you’re an incredible mum, and you have a family who think the world of you. There’s nothing better than being loved by the people closest to you for what you do for them as a mum, so embrace it.
It’s all too easy to get caught up in how celebrities and influencers look online, and to forget about what really matters in life. There’s nothing to be gained by maligning yourself for not looking a certain way after you have had a baby. Just be proud of what makes you unique, and celebrate it with the people who love you most.
Becca is a translator and interpreter, living the digital nomad life and enjoying it to the fullest. She has recently ventured into the world of writing, and is trying to convey some of her experiences through her posts. You can read her blog at roughdraft.eu.