What are the most common things sensitive when child starts puberty?
You’d think life would be a little easier after The Terrible Twos. In reality, it’s just a teaser for what troubles your child will probably rack up in their adolescence and teenage years. It usually starts when puberty hits. At this stage, your child is going through a lot of changes in their body and is dealing with a lot of uncertainty about themselves. Simultaneously, they have to keep up with the strain of social pressures that are most intense for teenagers.
As these happen in your kid’s life, it’s possible to lose perspective as to some of their behaviors. It’s easy to be insensitive and react based on what you know now as an adult, but before you both end up hurting each other or developing a distant relationship, take note of these six things to try to be more patient and sensitive about with your kids as they start puberty.
Emotional instability is a common effect of puberty. The hormonal changes bring about different physical and emotional consequences to the one who goes through it. As for your kid, they might be experiencing a lot of these emotions in extreme levels for the first time. They might now know how to control or manage their reactions yet. They may not understand and may even blame themselves for these inevitable feelings and for unexpectedly lashing out to others.
As a parent, you’ll most likely be on the receiving end of these tantrums and mood swings. While some behaviors are not okay, try to stay calm in these situations. When the time is right, jump at the opportunity to help them manage their emotions better.
Changes in your relationship dynamic
Time usually determines the relationship you have with your child. One day you’ll be the one they run to for everything and then, without realizing it, they’ve grown up and now prefers to spend more time with their friends. Sometimes they may even feel embarrassed to be seen with their parents or would rather go out with friends than attend a family engagement.
Don’t take this as a sign of indifference, because it is normal for pre-teens and teenagers to want to be with people their age who share the same interests and humor as them. It’s usually not a personal attack meant to put a strain on your relationship. Most times it’s just a natural inclination. Being a little more understanding about this and letting them spend more time with friends might ultimately make them spare some time for family too.
Gone are the days when you can just barge into your child’s room and disturb them to your heart’s desire. When your child grows into a teenager, they usually become less welcoming. Again, this is not typically an effort to push you out of their life. It could only mean that personal space and privacy are gaining more value to them.
You can still impose rules in your house, but also remember they might want a safe space where they can be alone every now and then. Even just giving them the option to close the door to their rooms when they want to can help them feel as if they have some independence and privacy.
The physical changes during puberty can bring up many insecurities for your kids. For girls, this can be the early or late development of breasts. Be aware of when other girls around your daughter’s age start wearing bras so she can also wear them. Even if she’s not developed, insecurities can arise if she’s the only one in her class not wearing a bra. Use this as an excuse for a fun mother-daughter shopping trip to help her find a training bra or even a few cute bralettes!
For boys, it might be that they have not yet gotten their growth spurt. Girls might suddenly be taller, and some boys might feel as if they are the shortest ones around. It’s important to educate your son on growth spurts and reassure him that this is a normal part of life.
A more universal issue for both girls and boys, however, is the appearance of pimples or acne. Since it appears on the face, it’s harder to ignore and may cause them to lose self-confidence. Whether it’s obvious or not, it’s safer not to joke around or comment on anything about these physical changes in your child’s body. If it becomes a concern, then you can talk about it objectively. Otherwise, be sensitive about these topics.
Desire for new experiences and small mishaps
At the puberty stage, your child will develop interest for things that you may not always be in favor of. In times that they lose track of the good values they’ve formed, choose more reckless decisions, or actively go against you, you might want to refrain from relaying an “I told you so” kind of message when they happen to end up with a mistake. Instead, help them realize the lesson this experience could teach them. You may be avoiding the blaming or shaming game, but don’t let them off without understanding where they went wrong and what they could do better in the future.
Puberty is more often associated as the stage when children break through a threshold because this is the first time that they experience and are made aware of the functionality of their reproductive organs. In accordance, sexual interests and desires will naturally develop in them.
You can make this process easier and more comfortable for you both by talking about it normally, not according to stigmas and other prejudices about it. For boys, they may experience wet dreams, which could bring embarrassment. You may instruct him what to do when it happens so he won’t have to tell anyone in the future. For girls, they may feel iffy about their breasts and how it’s often the first thing that’s sexualized. With girls, you can always make a fun shopping trip out of it and get her a bra that will shift her perspective about her growing breasts into something positive.
No matter the issue, the endgame is always being sensitive and open to what your child needs at this stage in their life. The puberty stage is not considered kids’ formative years for nothing. Everything that happens to them, including how you handle and react to their situations, will have a bearing on what kind of people they grow up to be. Nothing can be perfect but hopefully, everything eventually turns out okay.