Ready! Set! Morning!

As a mother of quite many kids, I have experienced a lot, but having five children, who are always in a different mood, it is not easy to make them leave the house in the morning, also having Husband make it harder. This requires such an expertise in parenting that even for me is too much.

ready for morning
photo: pixabay

Let’s start with the fact that every night I promise myself, that the next day will be different: after my relaxing, at least 8 hours of sleep, I freshly hop out of bed and go from kid to kid like a smiling fairy, I also take care of Husband, so then half an hour later everyone leaves happily, filled with my freshly baked, homemade pastry. They leave for kindergarten, school or work, and I, smiling charmingly, wave goodbye to them.

Yeah, sure, just like that. Let’s see what reality is:

Well, in reality, morning begins for me the night before, otherwise it wouldn’t even finish that given day, and everyone would be late from work, school or kindergarten…well, the latter is almost impossible, but we could even do this. I know this from experience.

The wise people say, that our mood in the morning largely depends on whether you can wake up with a smile on your face. I perfectly agree with this.

I don’t even have a problem with this, I always wake up smiling – no matter how late I got into bed, and that happens quite often, because my me-time begins when every child is laying in bed finally – and the smile lasts on my face until I see Big Boy and try to convince him rationally to get out of bed. When I see that this is not really working, I myself kick him out of bed, using all of my power. And then with all of my remaining force I prevent him from crawling back to bed. Well, morning workout done, my hair still lats, but my smile, well that’s not how it was before.

Additionally, the others also started doing this morning routine. Only one boy is on foot. Smallest – no matter how early I wake up, he is always there in the corner of the stairs before me.

Except for when we have to be on time. It is irrelevant, where we are heading, the point is that we should be there properly on time. Well, then he decides to imitate Big Boy, and he does it quite well to say the least, maybe one day he will earn money az an imitator. The question is, do I need two Big Boys in one morning? Two? More like five!

Finally everyone is dressed – too bad that the clothes I prepared the previous evening are standing lonely in the corner of the room because nobody sees them ever, but at least my kids can make a mess by going through the closets, so mom can have some fun during the day, because she doesn’t have anything to do at home -, then comes (could come) breakfast, if Big Boy, who leaves earlier than everyone else, didn’t eat everything from the fridge. My darling is turning into a youngster, and I can only be happy as long as the only sign of this is a constantly empty fridge.

So here comes a little replanning, instead of the healthy granola with fruits, it is time for the hidden cookies, otherwise I would have to tackle the bathroom with a bunch of rebels…well I would rather have them eat the cookies. At least I won’t gain weight, at worst I will just starve to death.

After I defeated the sock eating monsters and rewinded a firefighter cars’ wheels, folded a six colored dice for Big Girl’s technics class, happily fed my starving children with my hidden cookies, I only have to fight the tooth eating monsters before my children leave. There are quite many of them, to say the least, and getting them out with a closed mouth is quite a hard job. From Smallest’s mouth I can do this, even with half a hand, because with the other one I am trying to separate Four and Middle who are fighting with Harry Potter magic spells, and when someone accidentally knocks off a glass, they are convinced that the magic spell worked. When they see that the glass is broken, they realize that something might not be right, but they don’t understand why my mad face can see them, even though they supposedly just turned invisible.

– Help, mom is a witch, a descendant of Voldemort! – scream both of them.

At this point comes Husband and asks: “Aren’t you ready? I am going to be late from work!”

Yes. You will be late from work. But as he knows my behavior quite well and has experienced what is is like when I get on my broom, and it is not to catch the Golden Snitch, he just takes the kids and leaves with them in a second.

Goodbye morning, let’s begin the forenoon shift!

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